It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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