I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
