I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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