whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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