My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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