that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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