Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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