i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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