I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize