Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
