Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
