i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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