dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
