I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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