i permit you to call me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
