When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
