I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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