singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
