I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
