I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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