ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
