we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
