im holly from the hills drunk
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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