Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
