I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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