just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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