The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You're so nebulous sometimes
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
