God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Randomize
