Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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