let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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