I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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