i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did I show you my penis last night?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize