I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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