just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
