I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize