Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
