You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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