I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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