i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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