The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
