i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
