normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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