ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
