Tell her she can't have a vagina
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
