it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
