My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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