This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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