I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
