Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
