i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
