Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
