I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
