So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
