well you can't waste a boner
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
